Brother-Sister Relationship is something special!

Brother-Sister relationship is the most pious relationship of all. This relationship doesn’t involves selfishness but teaches sharing; sharing of literally everything, let it be books, bags, chocolates and even the same feelings.

Having a brother or a sister is a true blessing!

Brothers and sisters play several roles whether it is being a guide, a friend, a teacher, a lucky charm or just being themselves. They are the last resort to each and every problem and they always come up with a solution to help you out.

MY sister taught me sharing…

No matter how much hard we fight but we love each other and that is an undeniable fact. That’s why this relationship resembles me to the “Tom & Jerry” relationship. We fight, we knock down each other, we tease each other, we literally irritate each other but we can’t live without each other. We tend to understand each other so well that we don’t even need to say our desires. It’s funny how some things just click both of us at the same moment and we see each other and a wide smile comes on our face. Sharing the same packet of chips and fighting for the last bite is so much fun than eating from separate packets. It does sound funny but it’s true.

We compromise, we adjust to make each other comfortable. Each other’s happiness is all that matters. We stand for each other no matter if no one else in the world is by our side. It is so magical when a mere hug erases all problems, just a sight of each other provides enormous strength. One another’s achievements don’t lead to competition, but make the other so proud.

It is so very true that no one else can understand us so well. Believe me, if you have a brother/sister you are lucky, you are blessed!

Relationships with brothers and sisters are too precious to waste 

Sibling rivalry is part of growing up, but it’s a terrible pity if it leads to resentment and you grow apart

By the time you read this, my elder brother, Jeff, will have arrived on his annual visit from his home in New Orleans. I am looking forward to it immensely. (I have a younger brother, Jack, of whom I am equally fond, but he lives only a few streets away from me, so the novelty value is not so high.)

I have always got on well with Jack but, to be frank, I used to detest my big brother. My resentment lay rooted in my feelings of rejection from him when I was growing up, as a rather insecure, nerdy kid. Like most big brothers, he wasn’t too keen on his whiny little appendage, only 20 months younger, and didn’t bother hiding the fact.

As a teenager Jeff was (secretly) my hero – cool, good-looking and charming, which is why his indifference to me cut so deep. Tension between us continued up until the year my mother died, in 1988, when we were in our 30s. After that, we began to get closer, until eventually we became firm friends. I now can’t imagine life without him, even though he lives 4,500 miles away.

Why am I telling this story? Because it is not an unusual one – or at least the first part isn’t. Sibling rivalry is a profound part of growing up. Many developmental psychologists now believe that whereas once the father, then the mother, was seen as key to a child’s growth as a personality, it is actually the sibling – your first “peer group” as it were – who determines most strongly the character traits you are going to develop.

Most often this happens in a sort of inversion. Siblings – at least when there are only two of you, close together (Jack came 13 years after me) – influence each other most often by defining themselves as not being the other.

This explains why when two people who share 50% of their genes, and more or less identical family environments, so often end up with radically different personalities.

When I was writing my novel about brothers, Under the Same Stars, I did a great deal of research about siblings, and was surprised to find that hatred – of the kind that I felt as a child – was extremely common among brothers and sisters. That dynamic could continue for a lifetime.

Although the hatred is long gone, the importance of my relationship with Jeff is underlined by the fact that a lifetime after I had shared a house with him, I was writing a book which, in essence, was a coded and fictionalised examination of our own relationship.

The book ends with a cataclysmic revelation about the two brothers’ childhood, followed by reconciliation between the two. That theme of reconciliation is the reason I am writing this column.

Because siblings are simply too precious to waste. They are your longest lifelong memory bank, your shared history, the person who may know you better than anyone else (one of the reasons they are so good at getting under your skin). They are so deeply part of your identity that they cannot be erased, even by their absence.

Many siblings grow apart and stop seeing one another altogether. I think that is a terrible pity, and if anyone out there reading this is estranged from a brother or a sister, I would urge them to make efforts to change that situation before it is too late. If Jeff and I can become so close, after half a lifetime of resentment and harsh words, you can do it. Yes, it may end in failure – some rifts are too deep to heal. But if you can find a way, you will never regret it. Siblings are simply too precious to throw away – because, even more so than your parents, they helped to make you who you are.

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